Have Japanese scientists made a real Jurassic Park… just to use dinosaurs to make toys?

In light of the recent revelation from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore that their toys are "cast from dinosaur blood in Japan," see the partially reproduced ad below, a group of scientists were inspired to discover a new resource for making soft Japanese vinyl, or sofubi, from: dinosaurs. Though the plastic polymer, widely known as PVC (polyvinyl chloride), has always required non-renewable fossil fuels in its composition, a team of Japanese scientists are investigating techniques in cloning to create new dinosaurs in order to raise them, slaughter them, and make a new oil gathering resource out of them. Sounding suspiciously like something out of Michael Crichton's popular 1990 novel Jurassic Park, this initiative could be world-changing if successful, creating a bountiful supply of fossil fuels for the future. And, of course, we'd all have toys to thank for the discovery.

Please Note: Happy April Fool's Day! The above post is a joke and in no way reflects — to the best of our knowledge — anything that is actually occurring.