Sucklord renounces doing toys, moves into the Rock business!

In an extremely unforeseen turn of events, The Super Sucklord has made a public decree "that he will no longer be making toys." After roughly a decade in the toy making racket, the masked villain has opted to shift business gears to something more lucrative: rocks. "A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a planet named Alderaan, which came to a tragic end," he explains. And, "having travelled a great distance through space, pieces of the shattered planet have descended to earth and I was lucky enough to find the one spot all of them fell." Yes, Sucklord's newest venture is "Suckadelic Rocks," actual pieces of Alderaan packaged in an elegant box for $99.99 each. When one reporter remarked that this phenomenon bore a striking resemblance to the Pet Rocks of yesteryear, Sucklord pulled forth his laser pistol and vaporized the infidel.

Please Note: Happy April Fool's Day! The above post is a joke and in no way reflects — to the best of our knowledge — anything that is actually occurring.